Teeter Totters,Tight Ropes & Rollercoasters & Finding Balance through Prayer

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
James 1:5 NIV

One of my favorite amusements as as a child at our school playground was the old teeter totter. I found it fun to jump onboard with a fellow classmate who would join me for an afternoon ride. Balancing the teeter totter was always a challenge to achieve. I remember feeling a dizzy sensation as the board would constantly go up and down. Many adoptees express the feeling of being on a teeter totter, a tight rope or a roller coaster when they wrestle with the complexity of having two sets of parents: the birth parents who bore them and the adoptive parents who raised them. Some sense a dual identity and daydream about their unknown birth parents. They ponder which characteristics they may have inherited and which characteristics were learned. Adoptees often want to know if their birth parents ever think of them or miss them. They wonder who they look like, or whether they should search for their missing birth relatives. When questions or feelings about their birth parents or adoption surface they may be hesitant to speak with their adoptive parents for fear of being disloyal or "rocking the boat", teetoring their security. Those who are adopted may refrain from sharing their inner thoughts about their birth family that they feel might hurt their adoptive parents feelings. They may feel like they are walking a tight rope in regards to their loyalties. Adoptees may sense an intuitive need to honor both sets of parents for their unique place in their lives. So what should they do with their questions and the emotional rollercoaster they feel they are on?
The bible tells us in the book of James that God welcomes our prayers to him in seeking his wisdom in all things, especially complex matters of the heart. He gives generously and will not be judgemental towards us if we ask him. God understands the heart of an adoptee and all the relational issues that may cause questions, confusion or unrest. And our heavenly Father longs to share his infinite wisdom and counsel, just for the asking. We can be confident that He will help us balance the teeter totters, tight ropes and rollercoasters of our emotions.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, Wonderful Counselor, Thank you for reminding us to come confidently to your precious throne of grace where you welcome us. You are all knowing and all seeing and you alone understand our every need. You promise to listen to our questions and confusing thoughts. Even before a question is on our tongue, you have an answer for it. Prompt us to rely on your wisdom and strength as we walk this life long adoption journey. In Jesus precious name we pray, Amen.

Mose's Ark: An Adoptee's Vehicle of Deliverance

"And when she could no longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and pitch and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river's brink."

Exodus 2:3 KJV

Noah is not the only one who had an ark. By faith, Mose's birth mother Jochebed lovingly wove him an "ark" of strong reeds and waterproofed it for safe keeping. Mose's life was in danger. Egyptian soldiers followed the cruel king's edict to search every Hebrew home, seize all male infants and throw them into the deadly Nile river. The Pharaoh knew that the Hebrew slave population was growing in numbers and he felt threatened. Because of his fears he chose his own evil plan to reduce their numbers. Mose's mother obeyed God and followed his leading when she could no longer keep baby Moses hidden, quiet and safe. Jochebed's prayers and strong faith gave her strength to relinquish her son. She put her trust in God to be in control of his destiny. Mose's older sister Miriam took Moses and placed his ark at the rivers edge among the reeds where he would likely be found. Moses ark drifted to the river bed where Pharoah's barren daughter bathed everyday. She found Moses and was delighted to become his adoptive mother. Moses was delivered from death to the fulfillment of God's purpose and plan for his life. God's provision lead Moses into an Egyptian home of privilege. His royal family equipped him with the finest education and opportunities that groomed him to become the strong leader God destined him to be. Mose's leadership brought about the deliverance of his Hebrew people from the bondage of slavery and oppression.

Some of us adoptees were delivered from the threat of abortion or orphanhood. Some of us escaped challenging and/or threatening circumstances in infancy or childhood through our adoptions. Some of us were given numerous opportunities in our adoptive homes to equip us to become the persons God purposed us to be. As Jochebed, we need to embrace our faith to trust God as He continues to lead our ark on its lifelong journey of adoption.

Noah's ark and Moses ark were both amazing vehicles of salvation and deliverance. They lead their occupants to divine opportunities designed by God. What about your ark? Take some time to reflect on God's leading in your life and the promised future He has planned for you.

***PRAYER***

Heavenly Father, Awesome Deliverer,

We thank and praise you for the life of Moses and the plan you orchestrated to deliver his life and your people from oppression and slavery. May we like Moses be aware that "underneath are the everlasting arms". Your strong arms carry us as you steer our "ark" to safety. Help us to prayerfully surrender our lives and future to you and trust your divine leading. We thank and praise you for your redeeming grace! Amen

Jody Moreen. Copyright 2009. Permission is needed to reprint this devotion in part or in full in any media form.

Adoptees: You Were Designed By Your Creator. No Mistakes & No Erasers Needed Here!

Even as ( in his love ) He chose us (actually picked us out for Himself as his own ) before the foundations of the world that we should be holy ( consecrated and set apart for Him ) and blameless in His sight even above reproach, before Him in love. Ephesians 1:4
( Applified Bible )

The start of a new school year is fast approaching and the stores' shelves are bulging with pens, pencils and paper supplies. Mom's and kids are crowding the aisles, checking off items from their supply lists as they add them to their back packs. Watching the commotion takes me back to when my sister and I accompanied my mom on our annual shopping trip for school supplies. I always remember buying a pretty Pink Pearl gum eraser to erase all those mistakes I would make on homework assignments. My grade school teachers always marked up our papers with bright red ink to indicate our mistakes and wrong answers. I painfully recall making lots of mistakes in Mr. Margeson's Math class and being exasparated as I erased the errors. BIG mistakes required lots of rubbing and sometimes I rubbed so hard that the eraser got hot and tore a hole into the notebook paper!
Sometimes we adoptees may FEEL like our lives were one BIG mistake. Some of us think to ourselves that we must have been born ugly or flawed or that we were just plain unloveable. So we may wrongly conclude that that must have been the reason why we were placed for adoption. But we know that all babies are born with a beauty and an innocence. God never sees one as a mistake. His Word tells us so. God the compassionate potter created each one of us so lovingly and with such intimate detail. And He was pleased with his creation.
Unfortunately we may interpret our birth parents difficult decision not to parent us as an unspoken declaration that we were a BIG mistake. We may believe that they did not want us or value us-that they rejected us. Not true. The truth is that most birth parents grieved deeply over their decision and their circumstances of being too young or unwed or unprepared emotionally or financially to parent us. Some were abandoned and left by their partner, or their parents. Some felt shunned by their friends, their relatives and their schools. Sadly, some even felt rejected and unwelcome in their churches. And others were forced to sign the adoption papers.
Our feelings often can deceive us and so it is important that we do not rely on them, but embrace the truth of the scriptures, the perfect Word of God. Ephesians 1:4 tells us that each one of us was loved, planned, specifically chosen and set apart by our heavenly Father. We were not a BIG mistake. Never. No eraser needed here!
***PRAYER***
Dear Heavenly Father, my Awesome Creator,
Thank you for the truth found in your precious holy Word. That I was loved, planned, specifically chosen and set apart for you. May I embrace that reality and walk in light of that truth today.
In Jesus holy name, Amen

Copyright 2009, Jody Moreen. Permission is needed to use, reprint or publish this devotion in any media form in print or online.

Linus Minus His Blanket, A Lesson for Adoptees

"Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him for he shields him all day long and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders."

Deuteronomy 33:12

Linus Van Pelt earns the vote for my favorite "Peanuts" comic strip character. There's something irresistable about that blue blanket that adorns his daily wardrobe. Blue happens to be my favorite color so is that what draws me? Or is there something else that attracts me? When Linus carries his blanket, a peace and a confidence seem to flow out of him as he quotes godly wisdom. But when Snoopy or Lucy snatch his blanket away, Linus becomes unglued and panics over the forced separation. I believe that Linus' security blanket represents his inner faith and trust in God. When he remembers the source of his security and embraces his faith and clings to it, all is well- his soul finds rest. Ahh, that's my attraction to Linus!

As persons who live in an insecure and fallen world, we long for a security blanket, a safety net from the evils and sin that threaten us. We need to embrace the Savior. As adoptees, many of us in infancy or early childhood faced an untimely separation. The bough on our family tree broke and our cradle fell. Our birth parents did not have the resources or support to parent us so they may have willingly or unwillingly chose the option of adoption. The foundational rug was pulled out from under us as we felt the pain of relinquishment. Though this plan provided a family and resources for us, the initial separation was painful. It rocked the secure base of our known world. It felt like someone snatched our warm security blanket away.

Whether we were aware of it or not- God never left us. He was cradling us, weeping with us and, comforting us through our storm of orphanhood. He swaddled us and protected us in the blanket of his everlasting love. May we remember this lesson from Linus and ever recall where our security and strength come from.

**PRAYER**

Heavenly Father, God of all Comfort,

Thank you for holding me safe and secure in the blanket of your everlasting love.

Amen

Copyright 2009, Jody Moreen. Permission is needed to reprint in any form or published media.

Adoptees & God's Knitting Basket

"For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb" Psalm 139:1

When I think of knitting, my mind drifts back in time to a dimly lit family room. There my mother sat in a cozy chair with her knitting basket and our snoozing cat curled up right beside her. I remember her hunting through her wicker basket for just the right pattern and colorful skeins of yarn that would be perfect for her next creation. Her knitting needles never remained idle after she began but I never saw her grow weary. It was as if she truly delighted in each stitch, envisioning her grandchild's joy in wearing the beautiful hat or mittens she was creating.
I can just imagine my heavenly Father hunting through his knitting basket of beautiful skeins of yarn, choosing threads from my birth mother and my birth father to weave together to form me, his cherished child. Stitch by stitch, loop by loop he gently designed my being with love. He must have wept as he stitched knowing the dark threads of loss and separation that would be woven into the foundation of my life through relinquishment. Yet he so tenderly allowed threads of adoption to be grafted into my life's garment to give me hope and a family. I believe that as he cast off the last stitch creating me that he prayed for me. A prayer of compassion that someday in his perfect timing I would see and understand his deep love and divine plan for my life. What a beautiful knitting basket! What a loving Father!
***PRAYER***
Heavenly Father, I thank you for tenderly creating me. I know that you designed each thread of DNA in my make-up and allowed adoption to be woven into the fabric of my life. May I see through all the beautiful and dark threads, the love you had for me as you knit me together in my mother's womb. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Copyright 2009. Jody Moreen. Permission is needed to use, reprint or publish this devotion in any media form in print or online.

Fall In Love with Adoptee Anne Shirley of Green Gables This Summer!

"Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning" Psalms 30:5b KJV

Discovering adoptees and orphans in classic literature and the scriptures has been an enjoyable journey. Besides finding Moses and Esther, the biblical adoptees, my favorite adoptee from fiction is Anne Shirley of Lucy Maud Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables. If you have never read this book as a child you are in for a real treat. Please take time this summer to read this delightful book and series. Anne Shirley articultates so well some of the common thoughts, feelings, and emotions of orphans/adoptees. Her struggles, pain, challenges, loneliness, and abandonment issues are shared as well as her gratitude, her dreams and aspirations. Anne Shirely's character is brimming with hope and the promise for better tomorrows. Her passion for life and God overflow through her character and make you " fall in love with Anne Shirley" Here are some of my favorite quotes of adoptee Anne Shirley:

"Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, wouldn't it? There'd be no scope for imagination then would there?

"I'm not a bit changed- not really. I'm only just pruned down and branched out. The real ME--back here--is just the same."

"What a splendid day!... I pity people who aren't born yet for missing it. They may have good days, of course, but they can never have this one."

"Five minutes ago I was so miserable I was wishing I'd never been born and now I wouldn't change places with an angel."

"Dear me, there is nothing but meetings and partings in the world."

"I suppose you are used to sleeping in spare rooms. But just imagine what you would feel like if you were a little orphan girl who had never had such an honor."

"It's lovely to be going home and know its home... I love Green Gables already, and I never loved any place before. No place ever seemed like home."

"Gracious heavenly Father... Please let me stay at Green Gables; and please let me be good-looking when I grow up."

"This island is the bloomiest place. I just love it here already; and I'm so glad I'm going to live here."

"Oh, but it's good to be alive and to be going home... I've had a splendid time- it marks an epoch in my life. But the best of all was the coming home."

"Kindred Spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."

Lucy Maud Montgomery seems to identify so well with the character of Anne Shirley in relating to her broken dreams and lost hopes. It is interesting to note that the author was raised by her maternal grandparents because her mother died when Maud was twenty-one months old. So Maud experienced kinship adoption.

Enjoy this literary treat this summer and please share with us here your favorite quotes of Anne Shirley. How I wish I could have met Lucy Maud Montgomery and thanked her for touching us through her beautiful gift of writing.

Jody, Adoptee

Adoptees' Bellybutton Blues and Healing

"Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous- and how well I know it" Psalms 139:14 (New Living Translation)

Bellybuttons are funny! Everyone owns one and just like fingerprints, no two are alike. Children typically are fascinated with these peculiar holes in their tummy and love to intently study them . Giggles typically come when a baby's bellybutton is gently poked in fun! No one seems to take bellybuttons seriously for they just seem to sit on our middles and do nothing worthwhile. No wonder they make us laugh! They seem so silly! But at one time, when we were created in the wombs of our mothers, they played a lifesaving role.
Our bellybutton (navel) or tummy-button as it's sometimes called is a sign that we once were anatomically attached to our mothers. An umbilical cord, beautifully designed by God, was our dependent lifeline needed to carry all the nourishment from our mother's body to ours while we were developing. When we were born and left the womb to breathe on our own, this precious cord was cut, severed and we became independent little persons.
Adoptee Joy Budensiek, who wrote the book "Reconnected to my Bellybutton" regarding her search and reunion with her birth mother, chose a clever title to name her quest. The reality of the presence of the bellybutton reminds adoptees that they once had a precious connection with their birth mother who they were separated from and likely never knew. Bellybutton's are the first scar that needed healing from the point of the severing. Though this bodily wound heals soon after birth with a scar, adoptees carry an additional emotional wound from the complete separation from their mothers through adoption. This too requires a process of healing. Regardless of whether an adoptee has embraced a positive adoption experience or not the significant loss of the birth mother needs to be grieved. The grieving process can begin anytime an adoptee cognitively awakens to their adoptee status. Then they can begin to comprehend their original loss and in time hopefully give themselves permission to grieve the separation. And as Christians we grieve, but not as those who have no hope. Our hope rests in God, our Maker.
Ah, bellybuttons! Silly to behold, wonderfully unique as fingerprints and bittersweet scars of rememberance. May they ever remind us of the awesome gift of life we've been given by our heavenly Father through the sacrificial love of our first mothers.
***PRAYER***
God our Creator, Maker of our awesome bodies and even our bellybuttons! We thank and praise you for the beauty of your design. As we navigate the mixed emotions of our adoption journeys, we ask that you would be our tender Shepherd . Hold us as we grieve our losses and embrace our adoption and the life you planned for us for your glory and your honor. In Jesus name we pray, Amen

By Jody Moreen, Copyright 2006. Permission needed to reprint in any form or media.